I'm Ok The Missing Pieces
by DeppsLadyRosebud
Summary: The Second season's episode I'm Ok, You Need Work, in my mind left a lot to be desired. So lets go back to the state mental hospital where Hanson was sent and see what happened before Hoffs and Fuller had arrived, and between the time Hanson made it to th
1. part 1

**Summary:** The Second season's episode I'm Ok, You Need Work, in my mind left a lot to be desired. So lets go back to the state mental hospital where Hanson was sent and see what happened before Hoffs and Fuller had arrived. Rated R for drugs cursing and abuse.

Officer Hanson grunted involuntarily as his eyes opened and fought to adjust to the bright florescent lights of the ambulance. Everything in his body from his head to his toes felt heavy and weighed down, his mind flooded with jumbled whispers as he blinked slowly and opened his mouth to speak. A feat that proved harder this time then it ever had before.

"Stop..." He breathed out his voice hoarse and soft as he twisted his wrists only slightly to find they were still bound by thick harsh restraints. He wasn't even positive that he actually was speaking when the word finally poured from his lips, it was so distorted by all the drugs that had been forced into his system before he had even left the clinic.

"Cop..." He mumbled low in his throat licking his lips and clearing his throat finally able to make out a face staring down at him through the steep fog clouding over his vision.

It was Mike, one of the brutish orderly's... God how he hated those Jerks they were going to be the first to be arrested when he found a way out of this... If he found a way outta this.

"So we've heard.." The figured growled his overly sized arm reaching around Hanson's small frame as he chuckled in amusement at what he thought to be nothing more than another lie spout from the mouth of a drug addicted teenager.

Tom's lips slipped even deeper into a frown... "..no..." he fought to lift his head from the stale smelling blue blanket as he felt a needle piercing his skin for about the 12th time in what he could only guess to have been three days or so since they had first restrained him to the damn bed.

"Oh I'm sorry officer..." A second voice called to him as tom could hear it slipping further and further away, a defining sneer in his tone. "I guess we might as well just let you go..."

"I-" Tom's words slipped from him and he found no strength left in him to keep his eyes open as his lids unwillingly fell and the darkness became a fearful comfort...

Deep... black... sleep.


	2. Part 2

Thank you all so much for your reviews, I am sorry that it took me so long to put up the second part I just hope you like it. Remember to let me know what you think. Now for the disclaimer: I don't know anyone from 21 jumpstreet cast or crew and I'm not anyone from the 21 jumpstreet cast or crew therefore please do not sue me. Thanks.

When his eyes opened again they were once more covered in the dense fog that Tommy knew was drug induced. Taking a moment to regain his bearings he lifted his head as high as he could from the flat metal gurney where he was strapped and took a look around.

As things became more focused a chill ran up his spine, this place was filled with people who truly defined the word wack job. The man next to him was holding a conversation with his "pet." Which to Hanson's eye was nothing more than a hospital blanket. The woman three beds over was slamming her head against the wall, and the man in the bed across from him had obviously believed he was the one and only Frank Sinatra as he continuously belted out the words to My Way over and over again.

With a deep hearted and heavy sigh Tom let his head fall back to the pillow and closed his eyes, maybe if he closed them tight enough he could find a place far away from here, he could just think himself home, into his bed... Then again maybe just being around all these insane people was taking away his own sanity.

His thoughts were interrupted however as he felt a cold draft run over his body and knew that the blankets had been lifted from him. "Penhall?" He mumbled his voice soft and weary as he let his eyes flicker open in hopes that his best friend had come to rescue him.

His hopes however as quickly as they had arose, fell, when there towering above him was no more than another asshole orderly dressed in a white doctor's outfit with a crooked grin on his face. "well hello there new kid." He quipped smugly.

"lemmego!" Tom begged more than ordered as he felt himself being lifted off the bed by one arm and forced to his feet. "Let Go!" He tried again this time taking a moment to make sure his speech was clear enough to be understood.

"Okay" The orderly laughed harshly as he let go of the smaller man's arm and watched him thump hard against the tiles of the hospital floor his body to weak to stand on it's own.

"fucker..." Tom mouthed as he felt the cold floor press against his face and fought to lift himself up.

"Oh come on now that's not very nice language for a kid now is it?"

"I'm not a kid!" Tom growled looking up at the orderly his eyes glazed over and red his face as white as the sheets he was previously laying on. "I tried to... to tell you all before I'm a cop... I'm an undercover-"

"Shut up Henderson." The husky man howled as he pulled Tommy up off the floor in one swift movement. "Haven't you learned by now that lying only gets you in deeper trouble around here?" The now slightly fear filled officer could feel hot breath on his face as the words rang through his ears.

"I-I'm not lying..." he countered weakly feeling the grip on his arm getting tighter the circulation to his fingers seizing.

"Bullshit." The man spat as he tossed him back on the bed, "For this your showering privileges have been revoked and your to be taken to solitary immediately."

Tom wanted to protest, to fight back to defend himself but he knew his attempt would be useless as he felt his body hit the not so soft bed his wrist smacking against the metal railing on the way down. He began to draw his knees to his chest when he felt a force opposing him cursed inwardly.

"Oh no you don't." The man in white snarled as he pressed first Hanson's arms then his legs down to the bed restraining him there with the thick leather binding ties.

Everything seemed to drowned out now as he felt the bed rolling down the hall of the state mental hospital the only sound Tom could hear was the wheels beneath him rolling along the floor.

It seemed like an eternity before they stopped and he found himself inside a small box like room all the walls white, and soft looking in appearance, no windows... no curtains, just white.

The lights went out, the large metal door making a defining CLANK as it slammed shut, a noise so loud that Hanson was sure if he hadn't been so doped up he would have jumped right out of these damn restraints.

The last thing he remembered thinking before forcing himself back into some sort of restless sleep was "Please... someone come for me,... this has to be hell..."


	3. Part 3

"Rise and shine pretty boy."

Tom winced loudly as the door to the solitary confinement area opened and the florescent lights from the hallway filled the room. He fought to coil away from it, but his actions were in vein as he found himself still strapped to the gurney from the day before.

Everything from his toes to the strands of hair on his drug fogged and disoriented head was now aching and filled with pain. "fuck..." He grunted loudly and shut his eyes as tightly as he could.

"No thanks Henderson... I'm not that kinda guy," The orderly's voice sounded overly happy as he walked over and began to undo the restraints.

Hanson's facial expression turned to one of disgust at those words and he snapped his wrist from the larger man using all the force he could muster. "Don touch me!"

"Trust me I wish I didn't have to." He snapped back pulling him up from the bed, a sigh of annoyance escaping his lips when Tom's feet immediately gave way and he unwillingly leaned into the man in white. "You know for a junkie you don't seem to be taking your highs to well."

"I-I told you." He hissed, "I was undercover... I'm a cop..."

"No, your not a cop, just a punk, Rafferty already warned us about you."

i Mark Rafferty /i The name sent an unwanted Chill into Tom's body and he could taste vomit in his throat, if only he, if only that cruel sadistic son of a bitch had listened to him in the first place this never would of happened, he never would of been trapped here, with no way out.

"Mark Rafferty is a son of a bitch..." he spat under his breath before finally taking note of the area that now surrounded him, it was some sort of showering room, it didn't look much different than the ones you would find in a high school... Well aside from the men in white standing against the wall with their arms over their chests...

"And you are a liar." The one still holding him up growled before pushing him forcefully into the showering units his body slapping hard against the cold wet slimy tiles. "Now wash up."

Taking only seconds to catch his breath Tom shook his head sternly lifting it up off the dirt covered surface. "Fuck off."

"I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you." Tom felt his hair being yanked his head flying back and cranking his neck to an odd angle. "What did you say."

Without a word Tom spit loudly on to the large man's face, probably not the smartest thing he could of done, but he wanted to feel at least remotely like a man... like a cop, even if it was only for a second.

His cheek stung and he swore his lip was bleeding the sound of the orderly's hand meeting his face ringing through his ears. "Your never going to get outta here with an attitude like that," the man laughed, "well... then again, your probably never going to get outta here at all."

"Captain?" Judy Hoffs hung up the receiver of the telephone she was on and turned toward the tall black man who stood a few feet away from her.

"What is it Jude? Did you finally locate Hanson?"

"I wish." She sighed and ran her hand over her face in a dramatic gesture, "I've tried everywhere and no one has seen or heard from him since Tuesday when Penhall said he talked to him, but now I'm outta numbers... and it's been nearly a week."

"Alright, heres what were going to do, Penhall Ioki I need you over here..."

"What is it captain? Is it about Hanson?"

"Yeah, did they finally locate him?"

The captain shook his head and cleared his throat, "No, which means we've now got a missing persons case on our hands people, I'm going to call upstairs to the chief and inform him of whats going on, if Hanson is anywhere near he'll be found soon..."

"A-and if he's not, anywhere near?" Doug Pehall's brows rose in question a bit of a nervous twitch in his throat.

"Let's not think about that right now alright?"

"Aye Cap."

Thank you so much to all the readers, to tell you the truth, seeing as how the bases of this story took place nearly 20 years ago I didn't think anyone would ever read it, but it makes me feel good to know someone it. Leave feedback and let me know your honest opinions, Also for event purposes I have decided to say that insted of 3 days Tom's stay at county last more like 2 weeks or so.

Rosebud


	4. Part 4

_I am so sorry it took me so long to get this one up for all of you, but I do appreciate your feedback and your understanding, a lot has been going on lately _

Capt. Fuller Ran a hand over his chin as he sighed and headed back into his office letting himself fall back willingly into his large, plush, black office chair. Truth be told, Hanson was not only one of the best cops on his squad he was definately one of his favorites, always so dedicated to his work, always wanting to make everything right and...

He froze in his thoughts as though a light blub had gone off in his head he jumped up from his seat and headed out into the main section of the chapel towards Hoffs desk where she, Ioki, Penhall and Blowfish, the maitnance engineer, were all sitting identical worried expressions shadowing thier features.

"I Just... this doesn't sound like Hanson at all..."

"I think I know where we can start." Capt. Fuller cleared his throat interupting Ioki and sliding his hands in his pockets, as he made eye contact with Penhall, "Penhall? Do you know where the Weckerly kid lives, a phone number maybe? Anything...?"

"I think Tom's still got the letter from his sister in his desk drawer... Why?"

"Maybe, just maybe he never went skiing at all..." He gave a knowing glance, only to find the faces before him still masked in a slight confussion... Leaning against Hoff's desk he crossed his arms over his chest and began to explain exactly what he was thinking, telling them about the letters from Weckerly, and Tom's determination to find some way to help him...

Tommy's body shook heavily as he was lead back to his "room", if you could even call it that. His body was tired, his mind... he could feel it, was slipping from him and his heart... well his heart was broken. How could they not notice he was gone, why hadn't they been out looking for him? Why wasn't Fuller here yet? Wh wasn't Penhall here? His best friend? If he was his best friend why hadn't he come to him yet?

"Get in there." The husky larger orderly screamed pushing him inside and on to the gurney, "I'm feeling generous this evening Henderson, so I'm not going to tie you down..." His lips were curled into a vicious smile as he held out some pills, "And I'm going to give you the option of the pill over the needle..."

Tom's hands shook as he reached out and took the pills from the rough looking hand held out in front of him, "Thank-"

"Shut up and swollow them down before I change my mind." He spat out quickly crossing his arms over his chest and eyeing the pale and quivering man who was still went from his shower.

The fraile man nodded and did as he was told opening his mouth and wiggling his tongue to show the pills were gone from his mouth, they were of course... because he knew, if he didn't take them, if he didn't take them then there was worse to be seen, worse to be done in a place like this.

Waiting until he heard the door click closed, Tom finally allowed his ridged body to relax at least partially and he brought his hand to his hair running his fingers through it... He didn't understand this, any of this, and it wasn't just from the drugs they were feeding him, it was everything, how could people, human beings be treated like this... hearded up like cattle, poked and prodded like animals...

If he had the strength he would of plotted an escape,if he had the strength he would have begged pleaded and fought for a phone call,... but he didn't have it,... he was being forced wither away, both physically and mentally.

Even with the drugs dancing heavily in his system Tom fought them, he didn't want to sleep, he didn't want to... well he did... but he didn't... He wanted to sleep because with dreams came a false sense of peace and comfort, and as false as it was it was something... when he felt like he had nothing. He didn't however because he wanted to be aware... he wanted to stay aware, as aware as he could imagine... He needed to on some level remain a cop even in a nut house like this one as the screams and cries of the other tortured patients filled his ears, a sound he knew he would never forget... especially if he never left. They would be his company for as long as his mind remained.


	5. Part 5

It must have been really early when they came to rouse him the next morning, the sound of the metal door opening signaling it was time for him to shut his eyes and play pretend. If they found out he had stayed awake all night last night, then tonight they would double his dosage, and he realized that. That was the way this place worked.

Feeling a Jolt as the orderlys foot kicked the side of his bed just as it had done the last 11 days before he let his eyes open slowly and grunted in response, they were now red and blood shota permanent accessory he knew to living in a place like this... free of charge.

"Get up time for your meds." The man snapped using one hand to hoist him up to a sitting position by his collar and holding some pills out with the other. "Good kid your finally getting the hang of this" He snapped and slid the pills carefully into Tom's mouth noticing hiw shakey it was his brow rose. Maybe were giving you to many pills for your body wieght. Maybe we should slow you down."

And for a second,only a second Tom felt a small bit of relief was over him, until it was shadowed by a snarky and cold laugh from the man holding his collar as he let go and Officer Hanson's body hit the bed hard, "Then again maybe not."

He felt the break being pushed up and the wheels once more rolling on the hard tile floor closing his eyes as things begian to roll past him causing his stomach to flop and sickness to rise in his throat. "Wh...where?" He mumbled silently praying that maybe someone had come for him, someone had come to take him away.

"Where hmmm?... oh you mean where are you going? Well, you didn't really think you would get your own room for long in a place like this did you? I'm taking you to the back to a little place we sane people like to call the wearhouse... Your only put in your own cell... room,own room until we determine how dangerous you are, and you know for a cop your not danger ous at all..."

Letting out a deep and pain filled sigh Tom didn't answer, it wouldn't matter if he answered to these people he was nothing more than a wack job and if he tried to make them believe if he tried to telkl them what was going on they would only think him all the more looney for it.

"Welcome to your new home."The words ran like ice through his body as he felt the bed stop and let his eyes open shifting them around... so many sick sad, and loud very loud crazy people surrounding him like a bunch of huddled and wounded monkeys, Way more than he had seen in the admittance room when he first arrived. He gaged quietly as the smell of urine found it's way into his nose and he covered his face with the blanket closing his eyes as tight as he could to fight the nausia and the nightmare that he was now engulfed in.

Officer Hoffs closed the door to the weckerly residence as she and captain Fuller headed back to the car where Penhall and Ioki had decided to wait, solemn looks on both their faces.

"What did he say? Does Kenny know where Hanson is?" Penhall asked egerly turning towards the backseat where the two were getting in. "Come on Jude, Captain... what did he say?"

"He didn't say anything..." Fuller looked in the rearview mirror at Ioki then towards Penhall. "He's dead..."

"Dead?"

"Yes Panhall... Dead." The older man leaned back in the seat, "Mister Weckerly said that Kenny was trying to escape from the treatment facility and that he sufficated in the heater vent..."

"That's it!"

"Come on Iokage, don't give up just yet..."

"No, Doug,... Think about it... if you were getting reports of mistreatment from a hospital like Hanson had gotten what would be your first reaction man? Where would you go?"

"To the... oh no."

"Well that would certainly explain why we haven't heard anything from him." Judy offered looking to her captain. "Can you get a warrent?"

"Already on it." he put his phone to his ear.

Ioki Pulled out of the drive way and headed toward the mental hospital.


	6. Part 6

The day seemed to pass by slower and slower as Hanson laid there trying as best he could to find a state of oblivion, trying to ignore the screaming surrounding him and the ghostly whispers of the crazed man next to him. Wrapping his arms around himself he frowned and felt tears... realy tears warm and pain fillde tears falling from his eyes, no one was ever going to find him here, and no one was ever going to believe him enough to let him out of here, he was stuck... he was trapped... he was helpless.

"A-are you sure this is the place?" Penhall asked as they pulled into the parking lot of the STATE mental hospital his eyes caked in a slight case of fear as his brows furrowed.

"This is where the girl told me they sent him..."

"And your sure she wasn't just some wack job?"

"No.." Judy sighed as the car parked, "But it's worth a shot isn't it...?"

"I-I guess so yeah... it's just that these places give me the creeps and all... so"

"Why don't you and Ioki wait in the car and Judy and I will go in and check out the situation, if we need you we can radio you in."

Doug nodded and swollowed softly "O-okay good, that sounds good."

Fuller and Hoffs got out of the car and headed toward the building, "Doug isn't the only one who gets the creeps from this place aye captain?" Judy couldn't help but step closer to him as they stepped into the doors and checked the list of rooms and buildings...

"There are so many places here..." Fuller mumbled under his breath, "I suppose we just start at the bottom and work our way up."

"That's the only way I can think to go... I just hope this doesn't take long, he's already been here nearly 2 weeks captain... I hate to think of what this place is doing to him."

"We don't even know if he's here." The captain answered her stepping up to the admittance desk and pulling the picture of Tom from his jacket... "Hello, My name is Captain Adam Fuller, I am with the downtown precinct and I was wondering if you could check on a patient for me...?"

"Well Captain unless this is official police business..."

"It is, we believe that one of our officers, an undercover officer was brough here by mistake..."

"Oh no that is horrible."

"So- can you- will you please help us?"

"I'll see what I can do what is his name?" She asked stepping over to her computer and looking up at the captain.

"Tom... Tom Han-"

"If he's undercover he won't be using his real name" Adam whispered cutting judy off. "Listen he's about 5 foot 9 a hundred and sixty pounds, dark hair and eyes... he might have been brought in as long as 2 weeks ago..."

"2 Weeks!" The woman repeated. "Listen there could be a hundred and fifty men here matching that discription," She bit her lip a little uneasily, "If it was that long ago, chances are he's already in the wearhousing unit."

"The-the what?"

"The wearhousing unit, it is where we take the patients once we establish how dangerous they are and we need the rooms for the new arrivals so..."

"Where is it?"

"Fifth... fifth floor..."

Hoff and Fuller nodded and before anymore words could be spoken were on their way up the elevator to the wearhouse.

"This place is just..."

"Creepy?" Judy rose her brow looking at her captain as they stepped off the elevator letting their eyes scan the room carefully, there were so many people... so many strange and scary looking people, a man in a cowboy hat, the woman and her pet blanket... but the one person they didn't see was the one person they were looking for... "He's not here Captain..." Jody frowned and began to turn around when she noticed fullers eyes fixed on a bed not to far from where they stood a motionless lump beneathe its blanket.

Walkign over to it Judy followed him slowly and winced when he pulled the sheet down, there he lay coiled into a fetal position his arms wrapped losely around his knees, the color gone from his face except the dark grey around his eyes.

"Tommy?"

"Oh god, Hanson"

"Wake-up pal we've come to take you home, come on sit up." Captain fuller whispered helping the fragile form to a sitting position and putting his hand behind his back.

"isss... time to go..." Tommy slurred and pushed his limp body off the bed with the help of both Judy and Adam falling into his captain's body... "where were guys?"

"Hanson are you Okay?" Judy asked feeling even the wieght she was carrying as his arm was slid around her shoulder growing heavier...

"How do I look?" He mumbled feeling his feet drag behind them his stomach nausiated at the motion not having spent to much time on his feet these past 2 weeks.

"Are you alright?" She asked again as they stepped out into the hallway the florecent lighting smacking Tommys drugged and foggy form like a bolt of lightening.

"Just... just gimmie a minute." He frowned and before either one holding him up could stop him his body collapsed to the floor his eyes still wide open as he blinked up at his captain and one of his best friends above him..."Can't..."

"Alright Pal." Captain Fuller kneeled down and pulled out his walkie talkie radioing down to the car... "Penhall get up here would you please... He's in pretty bad shape man..."

"You found him you found Hanson?" The now elated cop asked hopping out of the car and heading into the building suddenly his own fears not of an issue."How is he?"

"Just get up to the fifth floor would you?"

"Aye Captain."

"We're gettin you some help." Fuller whispered pulling the doped man to a sitting position. "Just hang in there Tommy."

"Penhall?" He croaked out licking his lips to moisten them. "He...he came?"

"Of course he came Hanson, we all came..." Judy leaned down next to his other side.

"Thought... fogot."

"How could I ever forget about one of my best officers?" Adam smiled a little to make the younger man feel better. "You should have known we would come for you..."

"Took,-"

"HANSON!" Doug yelped getting off the elevator and immediately heading over to the 3 forns on the floor...

"Doug quiet this is still a hospital." His Captain demanded standing up.

"Sorry sir..." His eyes found their way down to his friend on the floor. "God what happened?"

"We're not to sure yet, he's pretty doped up... he can't walk, we drug him out here, but you know I can't lift him... my back."

"Sure thing Capt." Doug nodded pushing him lightly aside and stepping closer to his friend. "You so should have gone skiing..." He attempted a lame joke as he lifted the much smaller man up... "Your freezing..."

Feeling a severe relief washing over his body Tom was already fast asleep before they even stepped off the elevator and headed toward the car in the parking lot. almost making it to the front door when an orderly stopped them.

"Where do you think your taking him?"

Spinning around Fuller, Hoffs and Penhall all glared at the man in white. "What's it to you?" Penhall snapped his blood already boiling with anger about this whole situation."

"It is illegal to take a patient from our care."

"He is not one of your patients, he is one of our police officers." Fuller shoved his badge in the mans face. "And you can be expecting quite the repremand for what you have all done when Officer Hanson regains conciousness."

"But-"

"Get the hell out of my face before I punch your lights out..." Doug spat Hanson stirring back into conciousness in his arms.

"Doug..."

"It's alright buddy we're going." And without another word they all turned and left the building.

Climbing into the car this time Fuller slid into the front seat and Hoffs, Penhall and Hanson slid into the back.

"How is h-" Ioki looked into the rearview mirror and his words were silenced.

"He's gonna be fine Harry."

"Do you want me to head toward his house? Or the hospital?"

"No... no hospitals..." Doug frowned as he cought sight of his frineds wrist beneathe his sleeve and rolled them up slowly to see the bruises and needle marks from the last two weeks decorating his flesh... "No damn hospitals..."

"Doug what is-... Oh god." Judy frowned noticing what Doug was looking at. "Captain..."

Fuller shifted in his seat and looked into the back seat, unable to find the professional thing to say his throat ran dry on him as he looked up at Penhall giving him a concerned look.

"Take us to his house I'll stay there with him, I'll call Dorathy and let her know whats going on and if she gives me any shit...I'll just-"

"Alright." Fuller nodded turning back around and signaled to harry to exit the parking lot. "You heard the man, to Hanson's house."


	7. Part 7

It wasn't long after that the foursome pulled up to Hanson's house and Ioki shut off the engine. Climbing out of the car Fuller helped Penhall pull the still unconcious man from the back seat. "Shit where are his keys?" Fuller asked sighing lightly out of annoyance

"He's got an extra one above the door jam... I know, I've used it before."

"Listen, Doug... If you need anything, if he needs anything you can call anytime of the night and either myself or one of the others will come running... He's been through something I would imagine to be very traumatic on both his mind and his body."

"I know Captain..." Doug nodded adjusting Hanson's form in his arms and turning to head into the apartment building.

It took him several minutes to find the key and unlock the door before stepping inside and shutting it lightly behind himself. "What a mess you got yourself into buddy." He mumbled under his breath setting the sleeping form on to the couch and covering him with a blanket before pulling his shoes off. "I'm just sorry we couldn't find you sooner..."

Setting the key down on the coffee table in front of the couch Penhall ran a hand through his hair before heading to the fridge in search of a beer, that was the one thing he knew Hanson always kept in his home. "Good boy." He chuckled to himself grabbing one of the cans and popping its top. He took a long swig and headed back to sit on the recliner in the living room.

"Might as well watch some TV..." He reached for the remote as he kicked off his own sneakers in an attempt to get comfortable, flipping through the channels as he did so.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

The sound of Hanson's scream only minutes later caused him to jump right out of the leather chair and to his feet as he set down the beer he was holding tight too, and the television remote looking over at his friend.

Tom's body shook vigerously the viens in his arms flexing and pulsating as though they were tied down to something sweat beading quickly on his forehead...

"Tommy, Tommy wake-up buddy..." He cooed leaning down next to him and shaking him lightly, "Tommy wake-up man it's alright... your gonna be okay..."

"I'M A COP!" at that last phrase Tom's eyes flew open and his head popped up lazily his heart pounding with fear in his chest as his adrenaline allowed him to jump away from the hand on his arm.

"It's ok..." Doug spoke softly his voice even as he looked at his best friend of nearly 3 years now... "It-It was just a dream Hanson."

"No doug... No.." His voice still thick with intoxication and fatigue, Hanson looked down at his quivering arms and more tears found their way to his eyes. "It wasn't."

Doug's face fell into a frown and his rubbed his friends shoulder lightly. "It's gonna be alright now..." He cleared his throat. "Since, well since your up maybe we should get you cleaned up now? Then you can rest some more?"

Tom nodded running a hand through his hair as he sat up the rest of the way, "Alright... yeah" Taking Doug's now outstreched hand he forced himself to his feet, but before he could stop himself his shaking knees gave way and he collapsed into Penhall's body.

"Woahhhh, alright easy..." The larger man whispered thanful for his quick reflexes as his hands wrapped around the form now against him and slowly the two began to make their way to the bathroom. "Do you wanna talk about it...?"

"Not yet."

Penhall nodded easing him down to sit on the toilet, "Maybe it would be better if you just took a bath, your feet arn't to much for the whole standing thing right now ya know?"

"Yeah..." Tom nodded his head before resting it back against the porcilin of the toilet and closing his eyes, his entire body still aching and heavy.

a short time later he felt his friends heavy hand on his shoulder and let his eyes flicker open..

"Get undressed and I'll go get you something to put on."

"Doug I think I can handle bathing.."

"Hanson,"

"Penhall"

"Your hardly mobile..."

"But-"

"Don't try to fight me on this."

"Okay, your right... the room is spinning quite a bit."

"I'm always right."

"Don't push it..."

"Yeah yeah." Penhall chuckled as he disappeared around the door jam and into the hallway.

Hanson's hands shook as he removed his clothing first his socks then his pants, sliding the jeans down and off he winced running his fingers over the dark purple and scabbed bruised markings on his ankles from where the restraints had been. He felt bile come into his throat and before he could fight it his body rolled off the toilet and his head lulled into it, he began vomiting listlessly his throat burning.

"Listen Tom I-" Doug's words were silenced when he reached the doorway rushing to the side of his still upchucking friend. "Geezus Tommy... I can't leave you along for a second tonight can I?" He stepped one foot over his friend so that he was in a straddling position and hoisted his body up a little so his head didn't lul so much. "Let it out... there you go" He whispered fighting back his own vomit.

Men stood there for a good five minutes before Hanson pulled his face up and whiped his mouth with a shaking palm. :"Okay... okay..."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"Good because a few more seconds of that and I would have been pushing you out of the way... you sure your alright man?"

"mhmm..."

"Okay, then lets finish getting you undressed and into that tub."

"I don't think you... you wanna see this..." Tom whispered his dark brown eyes looking up at his friend from where he still sat on the floor.

"This is no time to compare and contrast Hanson!"

"not that..." He sighed and pulled his shirt over his head now left in only his boxers. "This..." He held out his hands.

And only there under the light could Doug really see, just how bad it was..."Fuck Tommy..." He found for once he was speechless his breath caught in his throat as he ran hins fingers over the black and blue arms of the man in front of him, his fingers skimming along multiple contusions and sores..."Do- do they hurt?"

"The pain ain't so bad...yet."

"What do you mean yet?"

"When what they were giving me wears off... you know..."

"Oh yeah."

Without another word Penhall helped him into the tub and sat on the sink top not remarking about any of the cuts or bruises he saw before him... not on the outside anyway. On the inside though, he was screaming and cursing like a mad man, someone was going to have to pay for this they were all going to have to pay for it every one of those fuckers.


	8. Part 8

"Don't you think you should try to eat something... you don't look so good." Penahll helped the now freshly bathed and clothed man back to the couch.

"Not yet alright?"

"Soon though okay?" Doug begged as he took a seat next to him and opened up the bottle of anticeptic that he had been holding under his arm...

"Yeah soon." Tom mumbled as he felt his sleeves being rolled up, he hated being so helpless so fraile, he never should have taken this case... he never should of allowed this to happen to himself...

"Your gonna be alright." Doug said for about the 50th time that night as he looked up and noticed a pain filled and vacant look in Tom's eyes, "Your gonna be just fine.I'll do this as quick as I can but it might sting a little."

"Okay." Tom's features tightened as he felt the sting of the peroxide against his flesh a light yelp escaping his lips, his fist tightening...

"Sorry... sorry sorry..." Doug apologized as he placed the first of many bandages around the wounded flesh. As fast as he could he finished his arms then moved to his ankles, and within fifteen minutes the task at hand was finished, "You see that I shoulda' been a medic." He smirked trying to lighten the mood a little.

"You don't have the bed side manners of a table lamp Douglas, you never would of made it as a medic."

"That's what you think."

"No no no, that'w what I know."

"Oh hush now, or when I change these thigns I won't be so gentle."

"That was gentle?" Tommy asked yawning as he allowed Penhall to help him back to a laying position on the sofa...

"Good night THOMAS!"

"mmmm..." Tom's eyes were aleardy closed his body feeling a complete release and comfort... something he wouldn't be feeling for long, but for the moment was a welcomed sinsaion...

"I'll just uh, sit right here and watch T.V." Doug settled himself back into the plush arm chair and began once more to flip through the channels on the television, for some reason he could not bring himself to sleep his eyes kept finding themselves drifting from what he was watching to Hanson's restlessly sleeping form.

It must have been a good three hours before Penhall's eyelids finally drifted down and he found himself to tired to fight it off anymore... "Maybe... just for a minute..." He whispered into the dead night air the remote falling from his hand and on to the carpet as he fell fast asleep.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Tom's body jolted as he began fighting to find air fear swollowing him whole as he fell from the sofa and smacked against the floor hard.

"Tom... oh jeezus." Doug jumped up from where he sat and was at his friends side in seconds, "God man, are-are you alright?" He knew that was a stupid question the minute he looked up to find Tom's eyes red and watering, "Did- did you hurt yourself?"

"No." He whispered allowing himself to be practically lifted back to the couch...

"If you need to talk-"

"I'm cold." Hanson frowned.

"I'll get you a blanket, you want a blanket? I can do that."

Tommy nodded closing his eyes and putting his forearm over them, what he really wanted was these images, these nightmares out of his head, these...these fucking piece of shit memories to go away.

"Here man," Doug's face couldn't help but be covered in worry he knew Tom needed to talk, maybe he didn't want to but he needed to... "Just try to get some rest." He cleared his throat not wanting to press any issues for the time being. "I'll be right here, I promise."

"Thanks."

"No problem."

"Doug..."

"Yeah?" Penhall froze in his motion just as he was about to slide back into his seat...

"I mean it... Thank you."

"Your welcome."

Thank youu all and I promise to have more up tomorrow night assuming of course I can finish up part nine. Thank you again!

Lady Rosebud


	9. Part 9

The night was long and rough as Penhall opened his eyes only a few hours after closing them, the sun shone in hard through the window above his head as he let his eyes adjust to his surroundings. Looking over at the clock he squinted to read the numbers. "9:30..." he mumbled getting up and popping his joints back into place.

Glancing down he noticed Tom still fast asleep on the sofa and reached down to fix the blankets over him before heading into the kitchen to work on breakfast for the two of them.

Tom's stomach flipped uncontrolably as he sucked in a sharp breath of air about to let out a scream as his eyes flew open and his apartment came into view dropping the scream down to a startled yelp. He pulled the blankets tighter around himself and closed his eyes. His entire body was freezing, he could feel the sweat pouring from his forehead the smell of the eggs Doug was cooking in the kitchen throwing his already exsisting nasuia into overdrive.

He fought to sit up his eyes watering at how dizzy and disoriented everything was, his limbs felt as though they wieghed 50 pounds a piece, except his head which he was sure was somewhere around a hundred pounds at least. Slidding his tongue out of his mouth he wet his chapped lips and cleared his throat lightly. "Doug..."

Doug's eyebrows furrowed as he stopped singing or rather butchering the latest Bon Jovi hit and put the fork he was using to beat the eggs down into the bowl. His eyes lifted slightly as he noticed Hanson's body now slumped to a sitting position his head rested down against his chest.

"Doug..."

"What is it man? I'm right here..." Penhall hurriedly went over to the couch and frowned heavily sliding down next to his quivering friend. "Tommy?"

"I'm...I'm freezing, and-and I feel like I'm gonna be sick man." Hanson mumbled his hand instinctively going over his stomach as he glanced toward his best friend.

Taking a closer look penhall drew his bottom lip into his mouth studying Hanson's face. His skin was white as bed sheets, his eyes black underneath, red and sunkin in, his lips nearly blue, and everything was shadowed by a slight tremble in his body, which was bathed in sweat. "Alright buddy... just- just lay backdown alright? I'm gonna go get you a cold washcloth..."

"I-I'm freezing, what the hell do I need a cold washcloth for?"

"Your sick man..." Doug placed the back of his hand to Tom's forehead. "Burning up..."

"Can this get any worse?"

"Don't you knoe never to say that?"

"What are you worried about, you got Penhall the great here to take care of you!"

"That IS what I'm worried about."

"HEY!"... Doug chuckled and headed into the kitchen getting a washcloth and returning a minute later..."Well its good to see your sense of humor was in no way effected." He squatted down next to the couch folding the washcloth and putting it on Tom's forehead grunting when the smaller man's hand came up to shoe it off. "That has to stay there..."

"Fr-freaking cold."

"I know." Doug pulled the blanket tight. "Just- just try not to think about it alright?"

"Easy... easy for you to say..." Tom lunged forward and threw his head over the side of the couch every muscle in his body tightening as he began to dry heave.

"Woaaaah..." the larger man frowned and jumped up sliding on to the couch next to his friend rubbing his back and holding his body up.

"Wh-whats happening to me?"

"I don't know..." Penhall eased him back to the sofa once he was done..."Just rest, I'll get a towel and clean this up, try to sleep..."

"mmmhmmm"

"Captain it's Doug."

"Penhall?" Captain Fuller turned off his ignition as he had just pulled into the parking lot of the precinct... "What's the matter is it Hanson"

"This, this is real bad, I'm not to sure I know how to handle this..." Doug leaned back against the side of the apartment building as he now stood outside on the balcony the back door open just incase Tom should scream for him.

"Doug..Talk to me..."

"I think you need to see this one for yourself cap."

"Is this serious?"

"You saw him for yourself last night, and well he looks about ten times worse this morning..." Doug scratched the stubble on his chin, "Remeber that uh, that time when he got shot in the arm?"

"Yeah?"

"This is worse..."

"Alright. I get the point, I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Captain..."

"Yes Penhall?"

"Hurry."

"I'll do my best."

Stepping back into the house and remembering the breakfast he was cooking in the kitchen Doug shut the door behind him and went to clean up his mess, throwing everything in the trash can suddenly having lost his appitite and knowing Hanson absolutely felt the same.

He hadjust finished putting the last dish in the drain board when he heard a soft knock at the door and running a hand through his hair he went to answer it giving his captain a small greeting smile. "Hey captain."

Captain Fuller stepped into Hanson's apartment and handed the man before him a cup of coffee. "I thought you could use this Judy had just made a fresh pot..."

"You know what they say about Judy's coffee captain."

"The best diesel fuel in town." Both men said in unison with a small snicker.

"So... where is he?" Adam asked setting his car keys and sunglasses down on theend table by the front door.

"He's on the sofa... he looks pretty bad captain..."

Without responding to Penhall's comment Fuller followed him into the living room to find Tom resting obviously uncomfortably on the sofa...

"I told you it was bad..." Doug whispered taking note of the solemn look on his bosses face.


	10. Part 10

"Tommy?...Tommy open your eyes pal..."

"Coach?" Tom whispered groggley opening his eyes and staring up at his captain.

"How you feelin'?"

"Like someone is twisting my intestine around my stomach and tying it into a knot over and over and over again..."

"Are you dizzy?"

"mmmmhmmm"

"Cold?"

Tom gave him a look to say what the hell do you think before glancing down at the blanket still wrapped tightly around him.

"Sorry... dumb question."

"Hanson, how many narcotics did they have you on while you were in that place?"

"I-I don't know... most of the time I was to out of it to tell you what they were doing to me..."

"Well there's our answer." Dpug growled gripping the styrophome coffee cup tighter in his hand as his jaw clenched. "Bastards."

"See for yourself." Tommy reluctantly held out his bandaged arm toward his captain. "This place was no vacation hotel...we're talking child endangerment, drug abuse, illegal physical restraint..."

Fuller sighed as he re-wrapped the bandage around Tommy's arm... "We're going to nail these guys Tom, but right now I want you to worry about getting healthy, then we will build our case." He looked up at the other man still hovering above them both, "Can I see you in the kitchen for a minute?"

"Sure thing, I'll be right in the kitchen if you need anything Hanson."

Captain fuller shook his head leaning back against the kitchen counter top.

"What is it?"

"He's going through withdrawl..." Captain fuller whispered clearing his throat.

"You-you mean like a druggie?" Doug asked confused.

"Exactly like a druggie."

"But...How? I mean how can they do these things to these people and get away with them? How can their families not know whats going on?"

"Well Doug, unfortuntaley, when you put a loved one in a place like that the chances of them getting out are slim so they can do whatever they like to you... it's not like they are going to be able to tell anyone... why do you think they call it wearhousing? They pump you so full of drugs that your not good for much other than laying there."

"And if you try to fight back-"

"You end up with a higher doseage of "medication" and eventually you wont be able to fight anymore."

"How...How am I supposed to help him captain? I want to do something, I need to do something... "

"There is nothing you can do Doug, you just have to be there for him, and help him through this... I'll send Ioki by tonight to stay with him for a while, your going to need your rest if your going to be any good to him right now..."

"No sir, it's fine really I can-"

"I"M SENDING IOKI BY!" The captain repeated not loud but firm, "This is no time to be stubborn Penhall."

"I just hate to leave... you know incase he needs me or something..."

"If you don't go home tonight and get some rest your not going to be any good at all when he does need you."

"But I just-" The two men's converstation was interupted by a lous crashing sound coming from the living room as both thier heads shot up. "Oh god Hanson..."

"Hanson..." Captain fuller sighed following closely behind Penhall who was now headed into the livinf room where Tom was now hunched over the coffee table the glasses and magazines that once decorated it now scattered all over the floor. "What were you doing?"

"Dizzy..." He mumbled his feet swaying as the two men pulled him up.

"We know... why were you out of bed Tom"

"I'm gonna be sick..." He mumbled into Doug's shoulder...

"Again? You haven't even eaten anything..."

"It's not food, it's the drugs he's throwing up." Captain Fuller frowned helping Penhall get him into the bathroom."This is going to be a long few days."

"Maybe... maybe we should get him to a hospital?" Doug frowned not liking the idea at all himself as he held his froend once more over the toilet...

"NOOOOOO!" Tom growled between gags. "Please! NO!"

"Alright Tom alright..." Fuller sighed lowering his voice a little. "You can't force him to go..."

"I just think they are a little more properly equipped for this..."

"I'm fine... you wanna go...go..."

"Hanson shut up man, I'm not leaving you like this your not fine... your sick..."

"And you want to pawn me off on some nurse."

"No one said that Tom." Adam sighed stepping in...

"Well it's what you implied, both of you implied it..."

"We did no such-" Penhall was cut shot when his captain shook his head no, figuring it was pointless to argue at the moment.

"Easy does it... how's your head feeling?" Fuller asked helping Doug set the smaller man down on the tiles of the bathroom floor. "I mean- tilt your head back Tom..." The captain sighed and reached over grabbing a wad of toilet paper when he noticed the blood now dripping from officer Hanson's nostrils.

"What?..."

"Your nose is bleeding buddy, tilt your head back for me."

"I think I'm falling apart coach..." Tom groaned closing his eyes.

"It's alright we're gonna put you back together again...I promise." Fuller stated reassuringly looking up at Doug and sighing as the two men shared a worried expression.


	11. Part 11

"You... You uh wanna watch a movie or something? Try to pass some of the time by?" Doug asked as he came into the living room from the kitchen holding a bowl of soup in his hands"

"If you want." Tom's eyes fell onto the still steaming bowl in Doug's hands and he frowned "I'm not eating."

"You need to keep your strength up."

"I'm just going to throw it up."

"You don't know that, and besides even if you do It's better to throw up food then well... to throw up nothing."

"Doug,"

"Tom." Doug sighed sitting down on the sofa next to his best friend. "Come on just a bite or two... for me?" He half whined giving his best set of puppy dog eyes in Hanson's direction.

"I can't."

"So what are you going to do then? Never eat again? You know if you keep this up Fuller is going to admit you to the hospital."

"He wouldn't..." Tom's voice went from stern to begging in a matter of seconds, "W-would he?"

"We need to get you better man, and we're going to do whatever it takes to make that happen."

"3 bites." Hanson growned throwing his head back against the cushions of the couch and closing his eyes.

"5..."

"3..."

"4..."

"3, and that's final now hurry up before I change my mind, and lose my balls."

"I guess it's better than nothing." Doug ran his fingers through his hair as Tom sat up his shakey hands reaching for the bowl. "Do you need some help with this?"

Tom drew his lip into his mouth and cast his eyes downward giving a slight nod.

"Hey...it's alright, I won't tell if you won't."

"Thanks man."

Looking up Doug gave him a slight grin as he reached in and took a spoon full of soup,. "What are friends for right?"

Tom eyed the soup wierily the smell alone making him nausious as he bit at his lip. "Doug I-"

"Just three bites Hanson nice and easy..."

"O-okay..." Tom took in a deep breath as his mouth trembled and he locked it around the soup spoon feeling the hot chicken noddle broth sliding down his throat he gaged nearly intantly.

"Relax Tommy just relax..." Peenhall's voice was soft and low as he pulled the utensil from his partners lips. "Just two more..."

Covering his mouth as his coughing slowed Hanson's eyes were filled with what almost looked like fear as they watered from his gag reflex... "Doug please... please no more..."

"You need to eat..."

"I-I can't."

"You won't!" Relief washed over Doug as he heard someone knocking at the door and got up to answer it, "Your going to eat it Tom."

"I can't!"

Shaking his head and letting an irritated growl escape from his lips Doug opened the door to see Harry standing on the other side of it, "Hey Iokage. How goes things?"

"Captain Fuller sent me for Hanson watch man, said you needed a little help over here."

"I don't need help, he's forcing me to have help."

"How is he?"

"It's tough to say... he's in pretty bad shape."

"He can hear you!" Tom's voice interupted the two men still standing in the enterance way to the medium sized apartment.

"Hey man!" Ioki smiled peaking his head around the corner before stepping into the living room area. "I just thought maybe you and Dooug could use a little company."

"Thanks man."

"Now Iok, please would you get this man to eat something? He'smore stubborn than a mule I swear it..."

Ioki nodded, "Penhall has a point Hanson your going to need to eat if you want to get through this..."

"I just-" Hanson's face went white his mouth opening , he gasped for air as he clutched his stomach his eyes watering his body shivering.

"Hanson?" Ioki was already up off the sofa... "TOM!..." The panic in his voice causing Penhall to come running from the kitchen where he had just turned on the water to begin the dishes...

"Tommy?" Penhall kneeled down next to him Ioki on the other side.

"AHHHHHHHHHH!" Hanson's two helpless friends watched as sweat began to pour down his face his lips quivering to match the rest of his body. Throwing his head forward into penhalls neck he screamed again biting down so hard on his lip he knew it must have been bleeding...

"Alright Hanson...Deep breaths...deep breaths..." Ioki rubbed his back heavily as penhall held his head still in the crink of his neck, "You can fight this man, you can fight it..."

"It hurts... it hurts so bad..." He mumbled breathlessly fighting against the tears now pouring down his face as he felt his insides being torn out, his ahdn gripped tightly to Doug's shoulder so tight that his nails ripped right through the larger man's shirt and into his skin. "HELP ME!"

"I-I can't Tom... you have to fight this..."

"FUCK YOU!"

"Here why don't we lay you back on the couch..." Ioki frowned not knowing exactly what to do in this situation...

Tom oblidged without much say so in the matter every muscle in his body as tight as it can get no matter how many breaths he drew in relaxation never seemed to come as his fingers curled around the fabric of the couch tearing at it mercilessly his head banging back against the arm rest...

"Hanson Stop it!" Penhall ordered grabbing his neck. "Look at me."

"IT HURTS!"

"Just breathe man... Just breathe..." Ioki got up and headed towards the kitchen to get a washcloth taking note of the small drops of blood running from his mouth.

"Your doing real good here Tom real good..."

"KISS MY ASS!"

"Later..." Penhall let out a small sigh of relief when the hand still gripping his shoulder released.

"I have to get outta here..." Tom mumbled fighting to sit up..."Air...I need air..." he gasped closing his eyes now that the siering pain in his gut was over. Bringing hs hand up he whiped the blood from his lip.

"Here..." Ioki held out his arm Penhall getting up and standing on the other side,

"You want air? Are you alright Tommy?"

"Do-do I look alright Doug?" Tom's eyes were still watering as he took his friends hands and let them pull him up from the couch. Both men knew he was crying, but niether man said a word as Penhall slid his arm around the smaller man's waist and Harry kept his hand firmly around his arm... They headed for the back balcony.

"We're gonna get this guy man..."

"I know Harry..." Hanson let his body slide down the wall outside on his balcony closing his eyes as the cool october breeze hit his face. "I know..."

I'm not to sure how I feel aboutthis part, but it was something that needed to be done to move the story forward so... yeah... Anyway the next part will be better I garuntee it, and as always reviews are my friend, critisism is my friend. Thank you for your reviews.


	12. Part 12

"Tom... you really should try to eat something man." Harry frowned as he sat across from the still shivering man on the couch...

Tom shook his head wrapping the blanket tighter around himself. "Not hungry."

"This isn't good for you..."

"Good for me! Good for me! Do you think any of this is fucking good for me!" Hanson snapped his red glazed eyes glaring in Ioki's direction.

"I didn't mean..." Harry frowned running a hand through his hair.

"I know..I'm sorry..."

"Don't worry about it. How about I go down to the corner store and pick-up some 7-up it might help calm your stomach nerves..."

"I just don't..."

"Tom you have to try..."

"Alright." Hanson nodded whiping the sweat from his brow with a shakey hand.

Harry gave his friend a half smile and got up from his seat grabbing his car keys, "Remember if you need anything... Doug is right in the bathroom taking a shower and I'll be back in just a minute alright?"

Tom roled his eyes with a smirk "You act like I've never been alone in my own apartment before man, now go on get outta here."

"Just... you know incase if you start to panic."

"I'll be fine Iok. Now get on outta here."

Harry nodded and jogged toward the door biting his lip as he gave his friend the once over taking in the extent of his weekend and unstable condition... "Maybe I should wait for-"

"Go Harry." Hanson demanded closing his eyes, thinking the silence would be a welcomed sensation once Harry left. No one to ask him what he needed. No one to nag him about what he's feeling, or how he's doing. No one to watch him like a hawk... Just him, and his thoughts.

Exhaling deeply he shut his eyes and let the quietness envelope him bringing his knees to his chest and resting his head there taking in one deep breath and then another...

It only took moments however before the calm of the quiet turned into deadly silence and Tommy found that alone was the last place he needed to be the thought in his head louder than any voice he could ever imagine hearing, the sounds of his memories so vivid that he knew he was living them again...

His heart raced and those calm and relaxing breaths were now harsh and deliberate inhales to keep breathing . Wrapping his arms around himself he could feel nails ripping into his skin... little did they know they were his own as he choked on the salty tears now sliding down his face.

He wanted to scream to cry out, but he couldn't. Fear. Pain. Paralizing him he couldn't move has he gripped tighter to himself and his whole body began toshake so hard an outsider might think he were near a convulsion as he burried his head deeper and deeper into his knees.

The images of Raferty and the ruthless orderlys, the needles digging into his arms his body being restained, the screams and whimpers of the tortured souls surrounding him in that hell whole, the feelings of abandonment and anger washing over him all at once, an over whelming dispair so dizzying he thought for a moment he might black out.,...

But he didn't, they just kept swimming and swimming around in his mind so many memories, memories with feelings feelings with form torturing his soul like a thousand sharp and deadly needles.

Finally releasing hold on his arms his fingers now lightly covered in his own blood he brought them tp his hair and gripped tight wanting nothing more than to pull these evil images from his mind, they were so loud, so deafeningly loud as they screamed at him without even using many words they tore him to pieces over and over again.

Pulling harder and harder he whimpered, only to find himself once more alone, just like before, before when all his friends left him there, there to rot, there to decay in the company of ruthless and dangeruos strangers... at least there however there wasn't pain, pain like this... there was loneliness though, just like the loneliness swollowing him now,.

No one was there no one really cares about him, if they had they would have come for him. They would have saved him, and where are they now? There gone. Gone again.

"Stop- it... stop it please..." Tom's voice was as weak as his sob and pain wrecked body as he gasped for air. "stop it... leave me alone... please...somebody help me please..." He closed his eyes tighter and tighter, tight enough to make his eyelids cramp.

Stepping out of the shower Doug dried off before wrapping the towel around his waist and looking into the mirror running a hand though his wet mane. In good ol' Doug fashion he smailed to himself and began to whistle the Andy Griffith toon while sliding back into his pants.

It only took him a moment however to notice the unfamiliar quiet coming from the other room as his brow cocked and he opened the bathroom door to listen harder. No voices... no television... nothing. "Maybe he finally fell asleep." He mumbled half to himself sliding one of Tom's shirts over his head that he had stolen from his friends closet. He of course had to take the biggest one he could find, and growned to himself when he looked in the mirror and discovered it was from some Jazz band concert ten years earlier. "Hanson...Hanson... Hanson..." He whispered to himself slinging the towel around his shoulders and stepping out into the hallway.

"just...leave me alone... leave me alone..."Tom Choked out in a whisper from where he still sat huddled in the corner of the sofa every inch of his being both inside and out trembling horribly through his minds tourment... "They didn't leave me there... they didn't... they wouldn't...STOP IT!"

"Tommy?" Doug swollwed hard and his walk into the front room turned into a jog. "Oh shit Hanson!" Penhall's eyes scanned the room for Harry finding him no where in sight he let a deep growl escape his lips.

"leave me alone... leave me alone they didn't leave me there..."

"Tommy." Doug whispered kneeling down in front of him on the sofa and putting a hand on his shoulder before noticing his arms were bleeding. "Hanson. Hanson look at me." He frowned pulling tommy'sface up to meet his by his chin.

If it were possible even in the 20 minutes Doug had ventrued from his presence Hanson had managed in appearance and obviously mental status to worsen, his eyes were now sunken further into his head, his skin had gone nearly from gray to blue he was soaking wet and he was trembling... ohgod he wastrembling so hard.

"You need to fight this buddy come on..." Doug whispered trying not to let his voice show any concern as he stood up and sat down next to Tom on the couch . Noticing his friends eyes just staring at him vacently as tears silently rolled down his cheeks. "Maybe if you talked about it..."

"you didn't come..." Hanson whispered so light that even doug couldn't hear him.

"What was that buddy?

"you didn't come..." He repeated again in the same voice as he began to wrap his arms around himselfhis eyes staring at his best friend.

"Tommy don't... your bleeding man..." Doug sighed and reached out taking Tom's handsin his noticing how clammy and could they were he instinctively rubbed them together trying to warm them... "What are you saying"

"YOU DIDN'T COME!" Tom snapped growling "NONE OF YOU FUCKING CAME, YOU LEFT ME THERE, YOU LET THEM TORTURE ME!" He snatched his hands back as he began to gag

"No Hanson... We didn't- We didn't know where you were."

"HOW COULD YOU JUST LEAVE ME THERE?"

"we tried... Tom you gotta believe me man, We tried so hard..."

"There torturing me..." Tom whispered his eyes immediately casting downward to stare at the carpet.

"Who Tommy? Whose torturing you?"

"My thoughts... My thoughts... don't leave me alone again ok? I-I thought I wanted to be left alone but I don't... they- they won't just leave me alone they keep haunting me making me sick, nausiated... Doug I can't- I can't handle this..."

"Your not alone Hanson. Your never alone..."

"I was."

Doug frowned and slid his arm over Tom's back pulling him into his arms protectively as he noticed more tears begin to slide down his face. "It's the withdrawls Tom... you just need to relax and fight this..."

"I'm tired Doug, I'm so tired...I don't want to fight anymore..."

"I know.But you have to. Your my best friend and I'm not going to lose you to this... do you hear me? I'm not going to let this thing win..."

"I-I'm sorry for what I said..."

"Don't worry about it, it wasn't you talking..."

Tom frowned... "Yes It was..."

"No. It wasn't. Now I don't want you to worry about anything that comes out of your mouth right now. I only want you to worry about getting better alright?"

"But-"

"No buts. Now lets get you into the bathroom, and clean you up, if you try this again I'm gonna duct tape Dorathy's oven mits to your hands,"

"You wouldn't dare..."

"Of course I would... you know the ones she keeps under the sink with the my little pony's on them?"

"Geez and I thought the orderly's were ruthless..."


	13. Part 13

Judy sighed pulling into the parking lot in front of Hanson's building and turning off the engine grabbing the bag of chinese take out as she stepped out of the car.

"THE DOORS OPEN!" Doug screamed as he shut off the water in the kitchen Ioki sitting dilagently next to Tom who was fighting hoplessly to watch the images on the television in front of him, and trying to ignore the stabbing pain knocking on his skull.

"Want me to get it?" Harry was already half way off the sofa when Doug's hand quickly pushed him back down it's alright I got it.

"I said the doors op-... oh hey Jude." He cleared his throat realizing who was on the other side of the door.

"I know I know I heard you, I just thought it was funner to make you get off your butt and answer the door."

"Get off my butt? I haven't been on my butt in nearly two days!"

"He's keeping you that busy huh?"

With a silent nodd Doug stepped outside the door pushing Judy with him, "Here let's go get that thing out of your car okay?"

"Doug I don't-" With a finger to her lips she was silenced as the door closed the two of them standing out in the apartment hallway.

"What is it?" She asked eyeing him as she leaned back against the wall.

"I just wanted to talk to you for a minute before you go in there." he frowned a littler and swept his hand over his brow.

"Are you alright Doug? You look a hagard for lack of a better word."

"This is just... not what I expected... he's so... so..."

"So what Doug?"

"Tortured." He nodded. "Tortured and weak, he won't eat... not won't, can't, he can't eat, he can't sleep everytime he falls asleep he wakes up worse off then before, he's... he's throwing these fits... these I don't know episodes I guess you would call them..."

"Doug" She reached out putting her hand on his shoulder, "I know it's not easy... Not on you and not on him...but he's going to get through this."

"I know... I just hate to see him suffer, he's one of the best people I know and it doesn't seem fair..." His hands clenched at his sides, "I swear I catch the man who did this... and I'll have his ass so fast..."

"Relax..." Judy sighed studying him closely. "I'll tell you what... why don't you and Ioki go and grab a beer, I'll stay with Tom, you need to get away..."

"That's not such a good idea."

"Penhall..."

"Jude, if he... it's bad alright, and I don't know if you can handle him alone..."

"You think I'm afraid of Hanson?"

"No... but you should be afraid of what you might see...he's not himself."

"I think I can handle it..."

"I'm not joking th-" Doug's words were interupted by loud voices coming from inside the apartment as he shook his head and opened the door Judy unaware of much going on, followed close behind him.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!"

"Tommy..." Harry was now crouched down next to the far corner of the living room.

"GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!"

Judy could nearly feel the tears beginning to sting her eyes as she swollowed hard, Doug was right, these images before her were not easy to look at let alone comprehend. "Han-Hanson..." She took a step forward.

"GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE! DON'T YOU LOOK AT ME!" He snapped shaking his head at her his arms once more tightly wrapped around his legs his body backed hard against the wall as he snarled at the three people above him.

"Talk to us Tom.. How can we know whats going on if you don't talk to us..." Doug stepped up putting his arm on Judy's shoulder as she grew obviously upset.

"IT HURTS IT HURTS SO DAMN BAD!" He screamed smacking his head hard against the wall and shutting his eyes, "IT HURTS AND NONE OF YOU GIVE A SHIT! NONE OF YOU ARE HELPING ME! IT HURTS AND YOU WON'T MAKE IT GO AWAY!"

"STOP IT!" Hoffs yelled dropping to her knees at the screaming man's feet and reaching out she pulled him away from the wall the echo of his head thumping against the solid plaster playing over and over in her mind as she looked at him.

Tommy blinked looking at her his pupils dancing momentarily in his skull... "DI-DID I SAY YOU CAN TOUCH ME?"

"I didn't ask for your premission." She let herself slide, sitting down indian style on the rug as she gripped his forearms heavily careful of his wrists and stared at him. "You are going to fight this. I am not going to sit by and watch you be distroyed."

"SO FUCKING HELP ME!"

"What do you think were doing here Hanson? Do you think we like watching you go through this... do you think we like seeing you so helpless.?" Penhall whispered crouching down next to Ioki.

"I don't know..." He shot back slowly lowering his head into his hands. "I don't know... everything is so confused, everything is so mixed up... I don't know..."

"I think you know man..." Ioki cleared his throat, "You know that we're your friends and we're not going to let you go through this alone, we're your friends and we love you."

"But-but I feel alone..."

"Your not." Judy cooed sliding into the corner next to him and putting her arm around his sweat drenched shoulder pulling his shaking body into hers and closing her eyes, "Your not alone."

"Is that all we have to do to get your attention officer Hoffs?" Doug smirked rising to his feet. "Go a liuttle mad sometimes?"

"Shut up Penhall and go start the bath would you?" she gave him a knowing grin as she ran her hand over Hanson's bath, "Your gonna go get cleaned up, then your going to come back out here and eat some of this wonderful take-out that I spent all day going to go pick-up."

"You didn't even cook for us Jude?" Harry asked taking a seat back on the sofa.

"I figured Tom was already sick enough he didn't need my cooking to help him along."

"Thanks for your consideration." Tom mumbled as Doug returned back into the front room and extended his hand pulling the smaller man off the floor.

"Anytime." She rose to her feet and went over taking a seat next to Ioki on the sofa... "How long has he been like this?" She whispered once the two others were out of ear shot.

"This is day three..."

"Tough break."

"you said it, I just hope he's gonna pull through it."

"He will... he has to..." She said resting her head on her best friends shoulder, "It won't be long now anyway will it?"

"I guess we will wait and see."

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Thank you so much for your reviews and comments! It's nice to know my stuff is read and enjoyed, I wanted to let you all know about the next story I'll be writing once this one is over, for those of you who are Booker fans your not going to be disappointed.

Single Bullet: Police work is the only thing that officer Tom Hanson has ever known, but when the one thing he knows and loves ruins his life crippling both him and his career can he find a way to put the pieces back together again? He will find strength in an unlikely source to keep fighting as his world is turned upside down and he struggles to stan on his own to feet again.(not slash)


	14. Part 14

The next morning after his long and restless night Tom awoke with a start his heart racing in his chest as he looked around quickly before remembering where he was, and the events that had taken place in the past 2 weeks.

"You cool?" Doug asked getting up from where he was sitting in the oh so familir arm chair placed next to the couch.

Tom nodded brushing his hair from his face and whiping his forehead drawing in a deep breath. "Yeah... yeah... fine."

"Are you sure? Do you need something?"

Resting his head back on the sofa Hanson took a moment before he answered, "Yeah... Lets, let's go for a walk."

"Are you sure your up for that man? You haven't been mobile for sometime now."

"You asked me what I wanted, and I told you..."

"Alright, Alright... we will go for a walk."

"Where are Harry and Judy?"

"They got called to the chapel not to long after you fell asleep last night,... Fuller needed them for a case,"

"Anything I can do?" Doug laughed shaking his head and earning him a strange look from his partner. "What?"

"Fuller knew you were gonna ask that, and I believe his exact words were... 'Tell Hanson to stop worrying about work and get his ass better..."

"Oh." Tom smirked sitting up, "Why didn't you go in?"

"Because I'm here with you."

"You don't have to-"

"No, I want to."

"Alright then, are you ready?"

"You wanna go now? Don't you want to try to eat something first?"

"Not hungry."

"Hanson, if you don't start eating your going to force me to do things that I don't think your going to like, and that I don't want to do."

"But Doug"

"Do not but Doug me, do you want to end up in the hospital with a tube down your throat man?"

"No..."

"Well that is where your headed."

"Why are you trying to scare me?"

"I'm not doing anything except telling you what is going to happen if you don't buck up and take the riens of this thing man."

"Fine. I'll eat." He paused shortly giving his friend the eye, "Later."

"I suppose that is better than never."

"You suppose right." Tom took his time getting up slowly and gathering his bearings Penhall immediately jumping to his side with his arm out... "I got it." He mumbled heading into the bedroom.

"Where exactly do you plan on walking to anyway?"

"Is the end of the earth an option?"

"Haha funny!" Penhall chuckled sarcastically leaning against the doorway into the bedroom, "I'm serious."

"I don't know... away from here, these walls are starting to close in on me."

"Trust me I know the feeling."

"Like I said, you don't have to be here Doug."

Sighing the larger man bit his tongue, "Relax Hanson, that' not what I meant."

"I know... I'm sorry..." Tom frowned pushing lightly past him, "I don't mean to be such an ass lately."

"I told you before it's not you. Don't worry about it."

Moments later the two men found themselves slowly making there way down the main bulivard of Tom's street the fall breeze decorating them both with a nice soft chill... "It's nice today," Tom finally spoke up after a good 15 minute silence period, pulling Doug from the daydream he had fallen into.

"Hmmm?"

"It's nice, outside."

"Oh yeah, yeah I guess it is."

"There is something I want to talk to you about..."

"Yeah." Penhalls feet stopped moving as he turned to look at Hanson bundled tightly in his red plaid jacket. "Alright, you know you can talk to me about anything."

"It's not just anything...I want to tell you, what happened in there."

Doug nodded. "o-okay."

"Here." Tom cleared his throat walking over to a bus bench and sliding into it uncomfortably, he wasn't sure that telling Doug was the right thing, or even that this was the right time to do so... but yet he did. "Let's sit down."

"Are you tired? Do you want to go back?" Penhall asked sitting down next to him and giving him a worried gaze.

"No. no. I'm fine... I just want to talk." He ran his hands through his hair a few times something he often did when he was nervous. "I don't know that I should be talking about this. But to be honest... I feel like it's eating me..."

"It's okay Tom, you know you can tell me anything. I'm here to listen..."

"I don't know why I even went against Fillers orders and took this damn assignment,... I just a felt so guilty, like I helped put Kenny in that place, and if they were mistreating him. Some of that was my fault."

"Hanson, Kenny Weckerly had a drug problem... His father put him there to get him help."

"That place isn't to help kids Doug it's to torture them, drug them up until thier insurance runs out then send them home twice as messed up as they were when they arrived." Hanson licked his lips and sighed, "Anyway, the night that Kenny escaped... I-I promised him I was gonna see Fuller the next day and we were gonna get him out."

"It's not your fault he didn't listen, he was old enough to make his own decisions..."

"I guess so."

"Hanson, your the best cop I know... you can't let this get to you... Now tell me about what happened to you alright man, that's what I care about, I want to know what they- what happened to you in there."

Tom nodded uneasily, "alright." He exhaled. "When Kenny escaped Rafferty thought I had something to do with it, and there was this... this girl who had snuck into my room, and well... I ended up in solitary... but it wasn't... something wasn't right man, were talking ten hours strapped to a bed."

"Isn't that illegal?"

"Mhm, and then when I tried to tell him that, and that I was a cop he would have none of it... I felt a needle in my arm and next thing I knew I woke up in hell..."

"He illegally restrained a police officer and held you there against your will?"

"Well what did you think he did Doug? You think I didn't try to get out of there? That I didn't tell him I was a cop..."

"No, I just... He had to have known he was gonna get busted for this."

"I have a feeling that's why he sent me away..."

"Because if we can't find you we can't bust him."

"I spent two weeks in that place man, and with every passing moment it was like there was this hole inside of me and it was growing bigger and bigger, everytime I turned around there was someone to inject me with something or force feed me some pill to make me feel crazier than I already did..." He shook his head closing his eyes at the vivd memory, "When I didn't do what they wanted, or I tried to fight back... They would well... lets just say with a three on one sinario I'd lose everytime."

"They hit you?"

"Of course they hit me... Then they would tie- they would tie me down... and send me flying high, there were many times when I couldn't even remember my own name let alone plan an escape." He leaned back heavily on the park bench his stomach churning...

"I-I'm sorry..."

"It was cold there you know?" He wrapped his arms around himself a bit, "Colder than anything I had ever felt... like there was ice running through my viens, and no matter how hard I tried... I couldn't get warm... I couldn't even cry Doug, everything was just empty... empty painful and cold..."

"Hanson I-"

"After the first week I gave up, do you know that?" He tilted his head a little and opened his eyes bringing Penhall into view. "I gave up, I figured they could do what they wanted to me, because I was just some poor lost broken, expendable cop... and that no one was going to look for me let alone find me,"

"You should of known we wouldn't stop until we found you."

"You didn't know where I was, how would you know where to find me..."

"Fuller would never give up on you that easy Tom."

"But I gave up on myself... That is what these places do to you man they break you down, they bust you into tiny little worthless pieces until you don't have any feelings anymore, no substance and no exsistance... and if you do, you know what you feel?" He paused running a shaking hand over his mouth, "When your locked in your 'cell' tied to your bed and on drugs I can't even pronounce do you know what is left to feel?...Shame."

"Tom."

"They srip you naked of everything else Doug, and there you are this baren shell of a human being...filled with nothing but shame as you look around at these vultures and what you have somehow allowed them to do to you in one way or another."

"Tommy." Doug turned a little looking at his best friend. "Listen to me, what they did to you was wrong alright? What happened in that place, the memories it left you with... its all wrong, and we are going to make them pay."

"What about the next ones? These places are all the same man, what are we gonna do? Shut them all down..."

"I don't- I don't know Hanson, I wish I had the answers for you man, but I just don't know... All I do know is that Iam here for you, and we are gonna get though this... then together we are gonna nail this one, This one man, and it might not be much... But it's a start it's one less creep in this world...And-" Doug silenced himself when he looked over to see the tears rolling quietly down Tom's face, biting his lip he rubbed his back slowly. Without another word spoken the two men sat there listening to the Howl of the wind around them.

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Once again I would like to thank you for your reviews they really help me greatly in my writing. There will only be a few more installments of this story then it will be on to single bullet, so I hope those of you who are reading this will check it out and enjoy it just as much.

Lady Rosebud


	15. Part 15

Tom looked at the plate in front of him the smell of the chow mien invading his nostrils and churning his stomach as he twisted his fork in it his hand shaking... "Disgusting." He mumbled quietly.

"Eat it." Doug stood leaning against the side of the counter top his arms crossed over his chest.

"I am."

"No your fucking with it, put it in your mouth man, thats where it goes."

Tom growled as he brought the fork to his mouth and clasped his lips around it giving Doug a hateful look as he did so.

"Swollow Tom." Doug watched as his jaw shook and jump up from where he was leaning standing behind him and tilting his head back looking his hand under his jaw as the weaker man gaged looking up into his friends eyes his own watering. "Swollow."

"MMMM!" Tom protested as he lips were pressed harder together.

"I'm sorry man, but you have to." Penhall sighed still holding him in his own version of a headlock.

It took a good minute before Tom did as he was told and swollowed down the food in his mouth shakily. "That wasn't so hard now was it?" Doug whispered as he let go of his face.

"Bastard!" Tom spat quickly picking up the plate of food in front of him and chucking it across the room with as much force as he could muster, the plate shattering instanting once it hit the wall spilling glass and noodles everywhere.

"Woah..." Penhalls eyes were wide as silver dollars as he watched the scene before him unfold, "I-I'm sorry man, but what the hell am I supposed to do? You need to eat."

"Don't you ever put your hands on me like that again, do you hear me?"

"Tom."

"Don't." Tom growled pushing past him and into the bedroom slamming the door closed.

"Hi honey I'm-" Judy jumped about four feet in the air as she stepped through the front door of the apartment just in time to hear the bedroom door slammed. Taking a look around she frowned looking over at the man still standing quite stunned on the far side of the room. "What the hell is going on in here?"

"I-I don't..." Doug sighed leaning down to begin picking up the mess. "I don't know."

"Where is he?" she asked stepping further into the room.

Without a word Doug pointed toward the beck bedroom shaking his head.

"Tommy?" Judy knocked softly on the door before attempting to jjingle the locked knob. "Open the door hanson." She drew her bottom lip into her mouth worriedly.

"Go home Hoffs." Tom's voice was quiet and submissive as he answered from where he sat on the floor beside the bed his head resting back against the wall.

"You really think thats going to work, Unlock the door Tom." She waited for a minute without heaing a response and asked again this time her voice raising a little. "Please open the door..."

Rising to his feet Tom began to pace the floor of his bedroom his hands running vigerously through his disheveled hair his eyes closed tightly as his feet grazed back and forth over the light blue carpet.

"Tommy." She giggled the door once more this time a little harder. "Please."

Penhall now stood at the base of the hallway leaning against it as he watched what was going on the anger bubbling up inside him. "He's not going to open it." He took a few large strides closing the distance between him and the door before knocking on it hard making both Judy and Tom Jump.

"You have til I count to 3 or I'm going to kick the damn thing in."

"Doug, violence is not the answer especially not right now."

"I know that Jude, but the longer he's in there by himself the more harm he could be doing to himself."

She nodded softly knowing that he was right.

"One..."

"Don't." Tom whispered sitting back on the floor and curling himself up

"Two..."

"Hanson please open the door." Judy begged, "Look Doug's really sorry for whatever he did to cause this."

"Please." Tom whispered his fingers running over the bandages on his wrists as he studied them. "Just leave me alone."

"Three..."

Tom's body Jumped as the loud break of the wood echoed through his room his eyes shutting tightly as he drew in a breath.

"Hanson?" Judy's eyes scanned the room slowly a few times before finally landing on him. "Hanson." She sighed walking over and leaning down.

"they are gonna scar." He looked up at her, holding his arms out.

"You don't know that." Doug cleared his throat keeping his distance from the man on the floor. "Tom... I've tried really hard here to help you man, but- I can't... I just don't know how much more of this you or I can handle." He admitted defeatedly.

"I didn't mean to yell..."

"Yes you did, but that's alright, you just need to realize that if you don't start eating, and taking care of yourself your going to end up in a hospital..."

"I don't want that." He sighed getting up, "But my stomach... it just, its so nausiated..."

"Just take it nice and slow Tom, how about I make you some soup and we start with that?" Judy offered getting up off the floor as she and Penhall pulled Hanson up as well.

"Yeah, since I don't think the chow mien is any good anymore." Doug smirked.

"sorry man..."

"It's alright... it was kinda stale anyway."


	16. Part 16

Looking down at the still half filled bowl of soup in front of him Tom frowned and pushed it away looking up at Doug for approval.

"You don't have to finish it." The standing man nodded removing the bowl from the table and taking it to the sink. "At least you ate something."

"Now all we have to do is hope it stays down." Judy smiled taking a seat across from Hanson at the table and studying him. "How are you feeling Hanson?"

"Honestly?" Tom's brow rose up "I'm freezing, my stomach is in pangs and my head is really dizzy...BUT I'm better than I was I can tell you that much."

"Dizzy how?" Doug called back from the sink where he was now washing up the few dirty dishes in front of him.

"Dizzy, dizzy? How many types of dizzy are there?" Hanson cleared his throat, "I'm sure it's going to pass just like the other symptoms have come and gone."

"You can't just shrug these things off." Penhall sighed. "Your in such a fragile state right now that we can't be to careful"

"I'm going to go use the rest room before you two start arguing like your married for the eighteenth time today." Judy shook her head smirking as she stood up and headed into the back of the apartment.

"How many times do I have to tell you everything is going to be fine." The shorter haired man frowned as he spoke studying the other mans back as he spoke.

"I don't know man I just worry..."

"Doug please you-," Tom rose to his feet and took a step forward his voice changing a little as he took another step the world going into a high tailing spin his knees buckling. "Doug?"

"What is it Han-" Penhall turned on his heals just in time to see the other man hit the kitchen floor his eyes closed his face pailing.. "Hanson?" He dropped to his knees quickly scooping him up. "Hanson... Tommy? ...TOM" He tapped the sides of his face lightly.

"Doug?What's going on now is-" Judy rounded the corner her eyes taking in the sight before her... "Tom? Doug what's-"

"Call 911." Doug looked up at her frowning. "Now."

"What hap-"

"DO IT NOW!" He growled as he began checking for a pulse on his friends limp body.

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It seemed like an eternity before the doctor exited the room where officer Hanson was now being held, Fuller and Ioki were quick to join the other two men in the waiting room not long after they had been called. "I thought you told me he was doing better Penhall." Captain Fuller whispered as the two men sat in opposite chairs waiting for any word on their friends condition.

"He was Cap. I swear it, you can even ask Jude, he had even eaten something,..."

"Well then what in the hell caused him to collapse?"

"Maybe I can help you with that one." The Doctor said now hovering over the four bodies in the waiting room clip board in hand.

"How is he doctor?" Harry asked as they all stood up.

"He's going to be just fine."

"He collapsed! How can you say he's going to be just fine?" Penhall snapped.

"Because he is going to be just fine, Officer Hanson collapsed from dehydration... We are currently geiving him a saline drip and as soon as he wakes up we are going to give him some jello and water... he's going to be alright."

"Thank god." Fuller couldn't help but smile as he and the other three breathed out a sigh of relief.

"Now the nurse has filled me in on the background of Tomas' situation that she got from you captqin fuller, and I mustcongratulate you and his friends for what a wonderful job you are doing on nursing him back to health... However the proper thing to do would have been to bring him in here right away, we could detox him here much quicker and.-"

"He's not a fan of hospitals" Doug interupted. "After all it was technically a "doctor" who did this to him."

"Well either way I still think...-" The doctor was cut off by the loud screaming voice coming from Tom's room.

"DOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUG" Tom's words were hardly even recognizable as the panic over took his body and the heart monitor above his bed picked up severely in pace. " NO NO DON'T... DON'T. FULLLLLLER! SOMEONE HELPPPPP PLEASE."

His four friends took off as swiftly as they could down the cooridor toward the sounds of his voice, the doctor behind them.

Penhall was the first one in the doorway taking note of the sweat now pouring down Tommy's face as he sat huddled in a ball on top of the bed his eyes red and spilling with tears as he panted to keep breathing. "DOUUUUUUUG!" he screamed again closing his eyes tightly and mumbling to himself.

"I'm right here Hanson." He jogged over to the bed, "It's alright..."

"WHY THE HELL DID YOU BRING ME HERE!"

"Tommy." Fuller stepped up to the side railing on the bed, "You passed out from dehydration... Doug had no choice but to bring you here."

"How are you feeling officer Hanson?" The doctor attemptted to interject.

Tom's eyes shot up, "Don't you come closer."

"Alright, I won't. I'llstay right here, listen... your friends told me about what happened to you, I want you to understand that your reaction is completely normal, if I were in your shoes I would be feeling the same way too..."

"Don't do this... Don't try to buddy up to me..." Tom growled keeping his arms around himself and finally taking note of the IV in his arm now that his fit of hysteria had passed his eyes darted up to the bag quickly. "What is this what are you doing to me?"

"It's sugar water Hanson, just relax." Doug put his arm out and on to Tom's shoulder, "Just try to relax..."

"Like I was telling you Tom." Fuller began again, "You passed out on your kitchen floor from severe dehydration, your here so that they can hydrate you, nothing more, then we are going to take you right back home I promise."

"Yes, and I promise I'm not going to go anywhere until you do." Doug pulled a chair up next to the bed.

"Me niether." Judy smiled slgithly.

"Or me." Harry took a seat on the edge of the bed patting his friends knee.

"None of us will leave this room Hanson." Fuller told him reassuringly.

Tom's eyes were still cautious as he looked around the room looking from one wall to the next a deep and desperate chill running up his spine as he did so, he felt sick inside and out, physically and emotionally, but Fuller was right... he needed to be here, he wanted to go home, but he needed to be here. "al-alright..." He stuttered out softly.

"Tom." Doug said sternly "Hanson look at me,"

"Hh-hmm?"

"It's going to be alright, we won't leave you alone I promise..."

"I really don't like being here," he admited sheepishly.

"I know, It's just one night though I promise..."

"That's alot to ask of amanwho just spent 2 weeks in a toture hospital you know."

"I assure you your safe here Thomas." The doctor offered quietly. "And your friends may stay... I'll pull the strings so that no one will hassle you about it, if it's going to make you more comfortable."

"I um, I appreciate that doctor." Tom finally exhaled the breath he didn't even know he had been holding and allowed his body to relax settling back into the bed, thankful it was at least slightly more comfotrable.

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There will be two more installments to this story then sadly that will be the end, Thank you so much for your comments, and I am very glad you enjoy it so much.


	17. Part 17

Tom frowned opening his eyes the next morning to fond that he was still in the nasty smelling horribly cold hospital room. "I was hoping it was just a nightmare." He mumbled to himself.

"I'm afraid not man." Doug's reply nearly made the man in the bed jump right out of his covers.

"I didn't know anyone was in here." Hanson turned his head as the bathroom door opened and Penhall emerged.

"I told you we wouldn't leave you didn't I? Ioki, Fuller and Hoffs just went to get some coffee.."

"Oh."

"Did you sleep alright?" Doug asked resuming his seat next to the bed.

"Did you sleep at all?"

"This isn't about me now is it?"

"No. But I just, I feel bad. Your-"

"Don't even start with me Tom, it's fine really, I wouldn't do it if I didn't want to, it's not like its in my job discription or anything."

"I know..." Tom shifted slightly in the bed before groaning under his breath.

"What what is it man are you gonna pass out again or something?"

"No it's nothing like that..."

"Well what is it then?"

Drawing his lip into his mouth and sighing Tom rolled his eyes "I have to piss man."

"Ok so..."

"I'm worried about the draft, I mean... what if Judy walks in?"

Doug couldn't help but begin to laugh covering his mouth at his friends refering to the open backed hospital gown. "I'm sure she would get quite the eyeful!"

"HEY!"

"Sorry... sorry, do you want me to hold it closed for you? Or you could always use the bed pan."

"Bed Pan? Please at least let me keep a little dignity here Penhall!"

"Alright Alright, here let me give you a hand." He stood up once more and pulled the blankets down off his friends body.

"I'm gonna owe you big for all this help you know?"

"Oh no no..." He took his hand pulling him up and helping him off the bed. "Your first born should cover it."

"Well that's good to kno- Woooah." Tom blinked Gripping Dougs arm his feet wavering.

"It's alright I gottcha," He slid his arm around Tom's waist gripping the back of his gown, "Take it nice and easy... just set the pace..."

"My heads swimming..."

"That's because they've been flooding you with fluids..."

"Well if they flood me with any more of them Imight drowned."

"I doubt it." Doug laughed stepping forward and opening the bathroom door once they reached it. "Can you handle this?... Hold on to the side there..."

"Got it." Tom nodded as the door closed behind him and he began to do his business.

"You know fuller was telling me last night as soon as your ready he has the perfect case for us... Down at Hamilton there's some pretty heavy trafficing going on... We're gonna need a real thick cover..."

"You Don't mean..."

"THE MCQUAID BROTHERS HEH!" Both men said in unison as the toilet bowl flushed and Tom slowly emerged.

"Did you tell him we'd take it?"

"I told him I didn't think you would turn it down..."

"But?"

"But admission is next week."

"So?"

"I don't know if your going to be well enough." Doug gripped the back of the gown as the two men made it back towards the bed.

"I'll be ready..."

"Don't push yourself."

"I won't, but even you know I'm doing much better..."

"We have Coffee!" Hoffs voice sounded from the door way and both men turned to see her standing there.

A smile creeping across her face as she startled Penhall who accidently let go of the back of Hanson's gown.

"Doug!" Hanson growled suddenly feeling a draft working up his back side.

"What...Oh...oh god sorry man..."

Tom didn't answer with more than a glare as his cheeks reddened with embarrassment taking note of both Ioki and Fuller now staning behind his female co-worker.

"Oh come on Hanson. you act like we've never seen an ass before." Judy joked trying to make him feel better.

"Not mine you haven't." He snapped climbing into bed.

"This is true."

"So when-uh when can I go home?" He asked sheepishly wanting to change the subject.

"Doctor Carver said he'sd be bringing your papers in in about an hour then your free to go, how are you feeling?" Fuller asked stepping inside.

"Perfect coach!" Tom Grinned big showing more than a little falsity.

"Mhm. So I see Penhall told you about the Hamilton Case?"

"He did." Tom confirmed sitting up a little.

"I can always send Ioki in if your not ready to go back to work by then."

"NO! I'll be fine." He turned to Harry. "No offense man, but I've been dying to get my nose wet... I want back in the field so bad it's killing me."

"I know man"

"If your ready..."

"I will be." Tomstated again, "I'm feeling much better,..."

"The arrest of Mark Rafferty is scheduled for 2 days from now, I also figued you would want to be there for that, you know you''d want to watch"

"No coach, I don't want to watch... "

"You don't?"

"I want to be the one to arrest him." He stated matter of factly.

"That's my boy!" Penhall smiled crossing his arms over his chest grinning happy to be seeing this... to be experiancing this again, as he looked down at his best friend and for the first time in weeks... he truly knew everything was going to be alright.

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Stay tuned for the conclusion! And I'm going to be Starting Single Bullet Tonight as well... so it will be here soon.


	18. Part 18 The End

"Are you sure there is nothing I can get you before I go?" Doug asked worriedly looking down at Tom who was resting comfortably on the sofa a coke in one hand and the television remote in the other.

"Doug..." Tom sighed running a hand through his unusually longer locks. "I'm fine man really..."

"Are you sure?...I mean I can stay if you want me too, you just got out of the hospital yesterday..."

"Listen man, I appreciate that your worried and all, but if you stay here one more night I- I might shoot you in your sleep or something..."

"That's not good." Doug shoved his hands into his pockets and bounced around a little on his feet... "If- if you need anything-"

"I'll call." Tom smiled kindly, "Now go on home to Dorathy before she thinks I'm holding you hostage or something alright."

"Yeah." He chuckled a little still having his reservations about leaving his best friend alone for the night...

"So I'll see you tomorrow ok?"

"Bight and early." Penhall nodded reaching the front door.

"Not to early..."

"This time off is spoiling you you know that?"

"Get outta my apartment Penhall."

"I'm going... I'm going."

"Good."

And with that the door closed, leaving Tom for the first time since he had been home from the wreched place alone. Maybe it was to early, maybe he wasn't ready... But how would he know unless he tried? He loved Penhall, he really did, he was his best friend... but the truth be told, without meaning to he could become very over bearing and hovering... and it was enough to drive any person in sane.

"Flipping on the television he glanced up at the clock. "10:03" he mumbled, "The only thing on right about now is I love Lucy..." With an irritated sigh he flipped to channel 11 and kicked his feet up laying back fully on to the sofa. As long as he didn't think about anything he would be alright...Right?

Sure the fear was there and so were the thoughts... But he had to face them sooner or later, he had to fight back against the images and the emotions... and he knew that was something he had to do on his own, no one could hold his hand through this...

"Your gonna be alright." He told himself staring at the black and white images on his television and pulling the blanket up a little more to his chin as he exhaled slowly, "You're going to be just fine." As the words escaped his mouth for the first time in over a month he felt a smile pull at his lips... And he truly believed he would be...

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Tom's eyes opened slowly as he streched himself out before realizing he had once more fallen asleep on the couch. He was beginning to wonder if he even remembered what his bed looked like... It had been so long since he had been in it.

Glancing around he smiled when his eyes fell on the clock. 9:13... He had survived the night. With a yawn he rose to his feet running a hand through his messey maine and heading into the kitchen to put up a pot of coffee.

"Nice day." He whispered poping his neck and looking outside as he walked past the window leading into the kitchen, the tiles were freezing against his feet as he leaned over the counter top and switched on the radio, Tom Petty's Latest hit filling the silence of the empty house just as someone began knocking on the door.

"Penhall." He mumbled under his breath heading for the front door. "Penhall listen man I know your worried but-" He stopped in mid sentance seeing Judy standing before him. "Oh hey..."

"Sleep well?" She asked holding up a cup of coffee.

"Very well." He grinned widely, "My Hero... I was just about to make some of this."

"Somehow I figured that."

"Come on in," He noticed the bag in her hand, "More gifts?"

"In a way." She nodded stepping into the front room, "So I take it from your greeting that Penhall is still playing father no?"

"I had one hell of a time getting him out of here last night..."

"He's just worried Hanson, we all are..." She added thew second part as an after thought looking him over carefully. "How was it?"

"It was fine..." He reassured her, "I think the worst part is over, now I just want to nail this asshole... Now what's in the bag?"

"Hair cutting scissors and a razor." She smirked, "I want to make sure Tom Hanson is still under there somewhere..."

"You think I'm going to let you cut my hair?" Tom's brows rose up slightly.

"You don't have a choice. I brought you coffee remember?"

"Coffee does not buy you buther time with my head!"

"You want to make a bet?"

"Jude."

"Oh come on don't you trust me?"

"No." Tom laughed taking the bag from her hand and running towards the bathroom Judy hot on his heels.

"Hanson get back here!"

"Haven't I been tortured enough? I'm not letting you near my head with a razor... or scissors!"

"If you don't openb this door right now, I-I'll tell fuller what you and Amy just so happened to do on his desk..."

"You wouldn't dare..."

"Open the door."

"You are an evil vendictive little woman you know that?" He pouted unlocking the bathroom door and opening it slowly.

"Shut-up and sit down... This won't take long."

"If you ruin my head..."

"I won't." She pluged in the razor and began snipping away with the scissors.

"Have you at least done this before?"

"No...but how hard can it be!"

Tom's eyes widened and he began to get up.

"I'm joking, I use to cut my dads hair all the time, now just relax..."

Two hours later there he stood in front of the bathroom mirror, his face fully shaven and hair perfectly cut as Judy's head popped over his shoulder and she smiled. "See what did I tell you... Good as new."

Tom didn't answer for a moment a smile pressing on his lips as he looked at his reflection and nodded exhalling, "Yeah I guess I am."

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I wanted to end this on a light note so I thought this a good spot, thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Rosebud


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